Organization...

Organization is a word that I have never been comfortable with.

Occasionally, I will get motivated and get REALLY organized...however soon that doesn't fit in with the rest of the picture and either meshes with another area in the house or my husband tries to help and confusion follows etc.

Part of the problem, for sure, is being 'into' SO many things at once. What can I say, life is interesting to me!! I have bills out so I can pay them soon as I have enough money, I have pictures out so when I get a chance I can put them up on the wall, clothes on their way to the laundry (actually that shirt's clean I think, maybe I'll wear it!), toys of course, bags I've used that have various books in them I need to keep track of. Books, ahhh the books. Between me and my husband we've seriously considered opening up our apartment as a library for friends to come borrow from, huge variety of business, self help, atlantis, ancient history, technology, tarot/supernatural, and so much more. Oh, then there's my businesses! I have my Arbonne of course, then there is the Trump Network, and also I am a rep for the Passion Parties. Then there is the groups I'm involved in...a daycare board, trying to get on a non-profit board to protect the rights of children, there's the MS Society where I'm trying to fit in but haven't yet, there's my "Moms with MS" site that just launched and is doing well, my blogging for Working Mother website, which I haven't touched much since getting laid off, meetups for the local Moms with MS and Seattle Hip Mamas groups and believe it or not much more...right now I'm distracted because munch is telling me she just spilled a 'little bit' of tea on the floor...hmm...

My mental health specialist I've seen a few times recently recommended I explore finding a sort of grant of some sort for getting organized, apparently this is something that other people with MS have trouble with as well. If you ask my husband, he is straight up convinced that it is because I (like him) have ADD but that I (unlike him) cannot take the medications because I'm nursing Hazel.

Now that I wrote all that I'd like to go try and clean up...actually packing is something I should do as well considering we are trying to be in the house being renovated right now within a month. Which is a whole other can of worms I'm not even going to touch right now. I'll just say it's going however it's meant to and I have faith it'll all happen.

Maybe if I do one of my simpleology exercises now...maybe that'll organize my brain...

Day 4

Right now I am getting an IV of steroids. It is Day 4 which means tomorrow is my last day of this treatment, a taper of prednisone starts after that which is pills, done with IV's for a while after that.

I have been thinking a lot about what is happening and why. I believe it all is happening for a combination of reasons. Many stemming from past and present stress. Also it is building my reserve of stories to be told and lessons to be learned. I will be a very wise woman someday.

I am also taking as ment steps as possible to avoid this in the future. I am working my way back to following the swank diet because I did well and felt bettet when following a low fat diet in the past anyway, I also started the Arbonne Hybrid supplement program which I have known many people to have wonderful health and energy benefits from.

I am walking every day, usually with the stroller now which helps with my balance as a walker would. Geoff helps me too letting me hold his pocket for support.

Emotionally I am I think taking the most extreme steps. I will be going to Klemmer as Geoff did starting sometime in June or August. I will be seeing a neuropsych next week to discuss all i'm doing and are what kind of tips and recommendations she has. My friend recently became certified in hypnotherapy as well and we sill do what we can with that.

I feel the most driven to get better to care for my girls. Yesterday Kenzie my 3yo was in tears when they dropped me off at the hospital. I don't want her to be scared like that. I want to be the strong mom that both of them deserve and to run and play with them again and always. Kenzie hasn't been able to really play with me for a year or so what with the pregnancy limiting my rough housing capabilities, then being busy with baby and now with the MS she just wants her mommy back. I want the same.