Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Active Lesions

Well, I found out on Monday evening when my neurologist called that my MS is definitely active...or at least it was in July post-steroids.

This is not good. Basically the course of steroids that I took for 13 days if you include the time when I was taking a 'taper' of prednisone after 5 days of solumedrol via IV, should have stopped the flare up in it's tracks, in other words made the lesions inactive. I got an MRI a few weeks after the steroids and the lesions still showed activity at the time of the MRI which means the flare up was still happening.

Since the MRI I've also gone to see a naturopath who I really like, I first met her through an empowerment workshop I attended and she informed me of the IVIG treatment which is considered to be the safest way to prevent flare-up's when nursing. My neuro had been toying with the idea of a heavy monthly steroid infusion which would require pumping and dumping (not pleasant) and of course the crazy steroid side effects. So back to this week when I saw the neuro, she seemed really concerned about the 'what if' scenarios that involve IVIG seeing as how it is derived from other people's blood supply. I do want to ask my naturopath if this is really that much of an issue or just a fear that the more western medicine etc.

Another appointment I had on monday that went fabulously was with a new Physical Therapist who I really look forward to seeing again. She was able to show me that my pelvis/hip was out of alignment (no wonder walking/jogging etc was so painful!!) and more importantly how to get it BACK INTO alignment, which instantly made me feel so much more comfortable and stable.

Other good things that are going on involve the husband has been working tirelessly on both this and his new company/product launch and it is absolutely paying off. We now have walls, and the remaining pieces to the puzzle involve the flooring, connecting the electricity (to the plug/faces etc.) and also installing a few major lighting pieces as well as plumbing in the kitchen and bathroom. It is an absolutely huge relief to see so much progress happening here though I am feeling a bit torn about leaving the beach as I do love it here in West Seattle.

So, I'm really bummed that my MS is acting up. I am working hard to try and reduce my stress and anxiety though I am having an extremely hard time with this. I absolutely feel down in the dumps most of the time and insecure about everything from what kind of mother I am to my employability and of course finances. I feel very very overwhelmed I suppose is another way to say it.

Some good things have been happening though, someone has expressed an interest in using some of my illustrations in 2 books they are almost done writing for instance. I have also been doing a lot of research about what it would take to write a book about my experiences with life and how with each circumstance I was able to overcome and find the bright side and opportunity of it. I am finding the exercises in seeing if this is for me is helping me to inspire myself out of this slump that I am in currently.

I really want to go do a few things for myself...namely a haircut and some minimal shopping. I need to go through my clothes first, because it seems like I must have at least a few things that would fit me at this awkward transitional stage of my body post-baby. I'll get the haircut and while packing see if I can sort out a wardrobe of sorts.

I'm bummed that my MS is acting up

No comments: