Flashback

Man it has been a really bad week personally. Work is good, my baby girl is great, even the daycare is going well (as expensive as it is now), money's tight but I'm working with it, but MAN this is a BAD personal week.

Earlier this week I was basically given some elementary instruction by someone who I really thought knew me, and wouldn't stop. Just that made me cry as this person knows about me what I've accomplished and should have figured out that I have always made it through by doing exactly what they felt they had to explain to me like a child learning the alphabet.

Tonight is just the icing on the cake, I got a lovely text because apparently I haven't been sending enough pictures, (see my psychic energy is supposed to know when to do so) and my ex threatened me talking about how someday she would be back with him.

I'm going to have to get started on finding legal resources to help me figure out what to do so I can get full legal custody. (I was 'hoping' to wait til after the holidays, but for sanity sake I think I should do it asap).

So yeah...here I am starting my weekend off bawling with terrifying and extremely sad memories of the past bouncing around in my head, I remember vividly coming across this "Walking On Eggshells" book that made me feel so relieved and confident I did the right thing by leaving. I'm going to have FUN this weekend. That usually is but especially this weekend will be THE number one priority. You will see lots of pictures above this disturbing post once I wake up and get going tomorrow. I will focus on creating GREAT GREAT memories of the holiday season so these bad ones of the past can fade fade fade away.

Matter of fact? I've already been doing that, I even just blogged about it HERE on THIS magazine's website. I've been being positive and creating good memories, this is nothing new. This was one of the pictures of us at the parade the Friday after Thanksgiving, I may have posted it, but here it is again:

Bus Etiquette

Does Seattle have any? At all?

Today the day started with this guy, reasonable in other ways make VERY blunt blanket assumptions abut a particular ethnic group that "supposedly" had someone killed for making a long distance phone call..he was talking to the bus driver who initially I was silently cheering on...she said "You can't say ALL _____ are like that!" but then later on, was cheering on the ________ for capital punishment, wow, I'm not even going to go there. Interesting too, is that the guy, made a point later that related to my next point. He said something about how NOBODY TALKS TO HIM ON THE BUS.

TRUE STATEMENT -- I've been on buses and trains a LOT and Seattle has the QUIETEST bunch of people anywhere...it is like they are all TERRIFIED of human interaction...WTF? I mean, it's a totally extreme situation, I've been observing this for just over a year now. Peopls do NOT talk, and the extreme behavior I'm refers to TWO forms of "BUS ETIQUETTE" Both I feel are not ideal, and I will explain why:

1.) "The I don't give a F***" passenger: This is the person who walks down the aisle and doesn't even try to hold their laptop/briefcase/purse in a way that prevents it from hitting someone in the head, shoulder, leg etc. and when it does hit someone, they do NOT apologize, slow down, or anything. Not acknowledgment or taking responsibility for some RUDE ass behavior...this would NOT fly in NYC people would be hurt for acting like this in Brooklyn.

2.) The other extreme is the person who tries SO SO SO hard to NOT touch anyone that they totally make a martyr out of themselves walking down the aisle. Pretty comical really, as if touching someone...and having to apologize or SPEAK to someone...would be the end of the world.

Here in Seattle, they all just sit there. They don't really speak (except on their phone...one time I even saw a couple holding hands both talking about NOTHING to other people on their cell phones). They read, sometimes write rarely draw, often have ipod's on it is BIZARRE.

If I could make a wish...it would be that the people I see every day on the bus were friendly, enjoyed interacting and if they bumped into someone, they apologized and didn't cower, instead took it as an opportunity for something new in their life taking responsibility expanding their social network...but nah...I might as well wish for the freaking lottery. As my sister once described her cat...it's a bunch of "anti-soc's" here in Seattle...at least on the public transportation system.

On the monorail today. . .

Hanging out with 2 of Kenzie's friends downtown today, so much fun! Iceskating, pretzels, monorail, and of course LOTS of laughs.

Baby shower!

It's nice to be a guest this time. . .saw one friends newborn yesterday, and this one is next!

Late t-day bagel. .

She finally has the bagel she wanted soo much on Thanksgiving. .

Interlake

I went there for a couple months. . .

Seahawks blue thunder

Mayor in his benz

Ballard High

Waiting for the parade to start. .

Thanksgiving...

K, holidays are here...it's always so built up and yet this time of year also creeps up on me.

Today I'm really thankful that the sun is out...it's been tooo dark recently.

From my grandma Jean. . .

Got a box....

Wow...a sobering moment.

My grandmother who has been there more than anybody in my family and has always expressed strongly that she believes in and is proud of me like grandmothers do.

She sent me a lot of beautiful things that kind of have me choking up a little bit. She sent me a stocking, which will be Kenzie's stocking this year for sure, a Merry Christmas plaque, a beautiful little porcelain flower pot (see picture above), a sweater that she bought and hasn't worn (we wear the same size...pretty different styles but I think it is nice she remembers that) and the one that choked me up the most...is a silver kind of platter from Tiffany's, with her birthday on it. It means it was a birthday gift from when she was born. I called her IMMEDIATELY because of course I am concerned about her health, she doesn't talk about this much and her sending such a special meaningful item, something representing her birth and her life that she has always kept in her living room, really really touched my heart to see it.

She sounds good and insists she is doing just fine, only 'cleaning up' are the words she used. I love her so much, she is someone that even through the hardest of all the hard times I've been through (I'm not getting into it now, but literally at times the only person who believed in me) she has always been there for me. I'm crying as I write this and at the same time telling myself that I'm being silly because I'm lucky to have someone like that in my life and I should be smiling with joy.

Tomorrow's Thanksgiving. I'm going to call her again and tell her how our day went, she is always happy when we call and has nice things to say. I really would like to visit her soon if possible. My company is having a conference in California close to where she lives and I'm hoping I can go to that and take an extra day to go visit her at some point.

Either way I'll be down in that area if possible really soon. It's been too long since I've seen my grandma. lol..I'm so teary and emotional now I wish I could live close to her, so we could be more a part of each other's lives but damn...Cali is expensive!! I'll be sure to call and send things in the mail a lot, (she doesn't go online).

Felix will be changing soon. . .

Will probably be changing soon. . .

Early friday. . .eating animal crackers!

Kenzie and I are SO ready for this four day weekend. We'll see friends tomorrow, parade on friday, oh and more than that we don't have to get up early for 4 days! I'm sure we will but we won't HAVE to. Life is good :-)

YUM!

Seafood pho. . .

She likes tofu!

I need to remember this. . .keep tofu in the house because there isn't much easier than cutting up a cube for baby girl to munch on when i have run out of energy. . .and one cube is good for both of us. She likes it with soy sauce. Me? Peanut sauce.

THROBBING...

Okay...it's been about 3 days now, and I'm wondering if I might have a migraine...I really really hope not. I was convinced yesterday it was lack of sleep, but today, man...just moving makes my head throb and it does NOT feel good.

It was a great day other than that, and fortunately once I finally gave in and took an advil, it helped for a long time. Also I have an AWESOME co-worker who knew this magic neck trick, and when she kind of, plugged her fingers into my neck, it made the pain go away for about 10 minutes!! It was great. I tried to do it to myself but it wasn't the same. I work with good good people.

I am pretty tired though, crazy weekend. I picked up scrubs for all my co-workers this weekend and we all wore them, it was pretty funny. We were all kind of loopy from being so so busy and sleep deprived, one person seemed kind of sick from lack of sleep...I do have a lot of stress I'm dealing with but this is my thankful week. Here's today's things I'm thankful for:

*Awesome job and co-workers
*Memories of the past to learn from
*Endless opportunities for the future
*Couple hours of sunshine a day
*Friends in far away places always in my heart

So yeah, with that...I'm going to go play scrabulous some more..(I LOVE that game..)

Holidays!!

Wow, they sure crept up on me this year!!

I love spending time with family and friends, and for the most part the holidays are great for that, the only problem is in my opinion, with everything squished into one day here and there, it creates such a time crunch when trying to fit so many things together.

It makes me appreciate the way that KWANZAA is, spread out over so many days and focused on specific positive thoughts each day.

I have to admit I'm also reflecting on the fact that I'm single during the holidays this year. Last year I had a fleeting but beautiful relationship during this time of year, and the 6 years before that I was with Kenzie's dad. The last Holiday with him was Christmas, and it was miserable. I'd write about it except it was depressing as hell. New Years right after was my first holiday alone with my baby girl, we had fun then, the two of us at home with apples, pears, cheese etc. it was very sweet. It's not really a big deal just something new I suppose.

I'm trying to decide if I feel like dating or not, I mean I'd love to go on some dates, but do I want to put myself out there on a dating site or something as single? I kind of don't think so, not right now. Who knows though maybe I'll change my mind tomorrow, later today even. I did meet a lot of maybes through my whole dating online experiences, and each one of course each one taught me a lesson too...if not more than one.

I read an interesting article my mom sent me, it was by someone named Maureen, I think she's famous, doing what I don't know, probably something political. But it talked about studies that basically concluded that guys really don't like being with a more motivated/driven person than they are. Unfortunately, it had some statistics to support this. At the same time though, the women with high goals and drive also are also turned off by a man who isn't very motivated, or expresses any kind of problem with her being motivated (which I find to be true! I don't have much patience for laziness).

I kind of feel like I'm in a kind of feminist quandry, I'm independent, confident and love to accomplish everything I can and think about how much more I can do. I like to try and keep up my appearance and image as well. Ironically, this article seems to imply that the things about myself that I am most proud of...seem to kind of make guys feel inadequate and/or not interested in dealing with me. I don't really like that, but I am not going to play dumb for anybody.

No matter what happens or what I decide to do though, I'm going to make sure it is fun and that Kenzie and I enjoy the company of lots of good people, NO negative energy PLEASE.

Sealady...

Kenzie and I live by the Seattle Statue of Liberty (ironic...I know) and I am ABSOLUTELY going to buy a brick that says "Kimby N Kenzie" or something like that...I just wanted to post for the site up here so everyone knows they can buy a brick to be placed on the popular Alki Beach, I think it's a great opportunity and I'm excited to make my time at Alki even more memorable by having my name along with my daughter's name permanently placed there. If your company, your self, or anyone else you know is interested click on the link below for more info, and you know I'll have it posted next year when our brick is included. I'd like to do one for my grandpa too...



Live is what you make of it...

JellyBath

It was about...um...9 months ago, actually, I just looked at the clock it was 9 months ago to the day that it was a LOVELY day.

I remember having some filet mignon, champagne, Kenzie got some toys, I got some toys, chocolate, and this mysterious BOX.

Well, last night I finally decided to check out that box and see what it could do, and wow!! It's kind of like taking a bath with a smooth towel around you keeping all the warmth for a loooong time.

I highly recommend buying this BOX of strangeness for anyone who needs to relax, it's very relaxing.

(Candles, champagne, chocolate and sushi help too...not to into filet mignon these days)

Current Obsessions...

I'm kind of obsessed with a few things...

1.) I want a large flat touch screen COMPUTER...that I can hang on the wall...I'm talking like, the size of a large white board. And I mean COMPUTER not moniter...I don't want any wires coming off this puppy because it has solar patches on the side of the screen that give it more than enough power to run...

2.) This green cowboy hat that I found...It SO matches the new DAPTIV colors at work and it is cool even without that awesome little piece of information...I could wear my gold cowboy boots with it..that would work right?



3.)...Those are the two big ones...I also want a honey container that is adorable, a toaster, a real whiteboard since #1 doesn't seem to exist, and a couple more hours in each day...

...that's not too much is it?

Baby girl is better!!

Yesterday was so funny...while I was stressing out about my sick baby, apparently she was just fine!! I'd given her tylenol around 2pm (I also drank some tea "Gypsy Cold Care" and also a glass of "Airborne" water which of course she got some of later nursing) and handed her off to Candace around 6am which is about the time I get on the bus...and Kenzie didn't have any more tylenol after that because her fever didn't go back up!

By the time she got to the doctor, she was totally normal, energetic, opinionated, and very excited to see an elephant and a brontosaurus in the room we were in. Her doctor is amazing too, he is a well known Seattle pediatrician who is amazing with kids, (good with mom's too ;)). She's doing well recovering from her ear infection as well as the fever that was gone by the time he saw her.

Aside from that...I'm going through a lot of 'thought' processes...I'll post that under a different post though, this should be a 100% happy post...I'm SO glad she's feeling better. Her chest congestion is down too which I'm thrilled about.

Sick little girl...:-(

My poor little girl is sick again...came down with another bad fever yesterday and I'm taking her to the doctor again.

This is definitely something I hate about this time of year. Right now she's taking an inhaler for chest congestion, anti-biotics for her ear infection, and Tylenol for her fever...it's too much for a little baby!! I don't even like taking that much.

:-(

Thank you Candace for keeping her safe while she's not feeling well...

SEA=SEA=Cool!

Nice...I'm sitting in a cafe and def leppard just came on. I know some of you will appreciate that.

So anyway, the point of this blog, is that I was in a restaurant earlier today, by myself, and there was a football game on. It was of course the NFL and it was SEA vs CLE and it was mildly entertaining...and it got me thinking. Wouldn't it be MUCH more interesting, if, like high schools, NFL teams represented the cities they were supposed to represent?

I mean, really, players from every team are from so many parts of the country, and on top of that they and their families get shuffled around. I think it would be SO much more interesting if you could really judge a place by it's teams....Chicago has awesome runners, Seattle players know how to defend and damn, those Giants are aggressive!! They must be from NYC!!

If I ever did a fantasy football team, I'd do it like that, just for kicks. Choose all the players from whatever city I felt like being from that day ;-).

Happy Halloween!

Here is my little penguin at the office party, well on my desk anyway :-)